She is in my trunk
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Sorry about my life...
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
