but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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