I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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