hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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