how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
