If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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