I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
