what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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