I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
