where am i from again
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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