One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
