Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
