is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
