Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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