I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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