okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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