burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
