Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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