ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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