i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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