Tell her she can't have a vagina
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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