He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
