If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
