Im at strip club and am horny
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
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