some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
