hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
