You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
