Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Someone signed my nipple.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
