that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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