can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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