so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
