she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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