It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
