Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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