how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
