even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I love having hate sex.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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