And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
