i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
