He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
