Please, let me fuck your mom
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
