There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
