I must be too annoying 4 u.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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