We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
