So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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