Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
