I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
