I want to stick my p in your. b.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
