just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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