were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize