If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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