Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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