and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
