stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I think I won the penis lottery.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
