so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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