He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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